Opening oneself up to the world with true emotions creates vulnerability. Not the weak sense of vulnerability.
I regularly cover topics on loneliness, female peer envy and giftedness. These topics are considered controversial. For two main reasons:
1. Describing yourself as being regarded attractive or intelligent by others is not done in a world where fake humbleness is appreciated more than speaking out openly;
2. Honesty on topics like (severe) loneliness or not enjoying life even though one has put in all efforts to make life better or find friends, infringes with people's tendency to sugarcoat inconventient topics.
Add to that the strange tendency from some people to feel offended by other people's accounts of loneliness and experiences with giftedness and friendships and project their negative feelings on the person that has shared their experiences openly.
As for me, I chose to open up to lift the taboo on loneliness and myths on intelligence and giftedness that are detrimental. To be able to judge me, you have to stand in my shoes. No one can describe my experiences better than I do.
I could cover sweet, nonsense topics. I could copy-paste cat memes. But I don't. I put myself in the situation of attracting bitter comments without ever contributing to bitterness myself.
A few times, I received hate messages. One remarkable message sums up how uptight people can be, seeing negative in everything:
"I have read all your messages on loneliness and giftedness. You, yes, you are just an attention wh*re! You are just thinking highly of yourself! I saw your content! You should stop looking down on other people".
This one felt that my acknowledgement of being gifted or even highly intelligent, meant looking down on them. What was worse, they saw my content and my pictures and felt offended by the fact that I am lonely.
What is happening there, is the strange paradox: I should not be unhappy in life, because I am assumed to think highly of myself and because I don't shy away from the topic, I find people trying to talk down on me. This is a kind of bullying to make them feel better about themselves.
Strange thing is: it is none of their business. Even if I felt highly of myself, how could that offend any other person?
My views on loneliness and giftedness are fairly easy to digest:
1. Most people are wired for companionship. It is perfectly normal to feel lonely when humans have no adequate social bonds. It does not matter how self-sufficient you are, how comfortable you are with your own thoughts; most humans will feel lonely when they lack strong social bonds. Craving strong (intimate) bonds with other humans does not make one needy nor does it mean that one cannot tolerate their own feelings and thoughts when being alone. Enjoying company is a perfectly human tendency;
2. Giftedness can lead to situational loneliness, which occurs when the need for adequate companionship is not met because peers or people in the immediate circle are too different at a functioning level.
This is a fine-tuned phenomenon. I can only tell from my account that I am a quick thinker, I am very talkative, witty, a bit sarcastic and I can sense almost everything.
I don't find satisfying relationships by mingling with just everyone. I am not interested in low life topics like talking about other people, trends or binge-watching. The people in my neighborhood love binge-watching, days on end. They also love fighting over minor things.
The stigma surrounding intelligence is also a major contributor to loneliness. I had my best friend asking me whether I found him stupid, while never a second I'd have thought that. I enjoyed his company.
It is relatively clear why. I love being around uplifting people who are able to enjoy company as much as I do. In my home, I have always been as open as to have people just pop in and out. I can't do that now as I was forces out of my home following my mother's death. Now I live in a no-go area and I can't have former neighbors come over to my building.
