Almost cut my hair

Nou ja, nog even dan. Ik heb zin in iets totaal anders dan knielang haar, maar de kappers zitten vol tot eind september!

Ik heb nooit geweten (of eigenlijk nooit stilgestaan bij) wat mijn gezichtsvorm is. Ik ben meer als een man: ik ben me niet erg bewust van details en stijlen. Hoewel ik alle soorten kapsels heb gehad, van kort tot lang, waren het altijd klassiekers zonder dat ik ooit haarproducten heb hoeven gebruiken.

Ik ben bij topkappers langsgegaan om te vragen wat mijn gezichtsvorm is. Het antwoord luidt unaniem: ovaal! Dat verklaart misschien waarom bijna alle haarlengtes en haarkleuren bij mij nagenoeg hetzelfde staan en niets echt opvalt. 

Nu oriënteer ik me nog even op kapsels voor ovale gezichtsvormen. De kapper liet al wel weten dat ik mijn haar nu niet kan doneren, omdat er henna in heeft gezeten en dat de structuur verandert. 

 

Women are never going to make it

A woman just called me "A horse butt" for having long hair. Along with this unprovoked statement came her verdict that I am spending a fortune to shampoo my hair, a crude guess that offended her personally. 

It is just another day for me being judged by my outlook, be it a little more apert than having female cliques making up rumors about me. The trash-talking has not been limited to high school; I have been the subject of gossip fabricated by workplace cliques. Women make up the majority of bullies targeting other women in workplace settings, which says a lot.

Generally, women are vile to women. There is an evolutionary reason behind competitive behavior, but women trash-talking women and judging looks does not bring them the best mate, nor does it enhance their position in modern society.

Women who are so invested in the looks and choices of other women do not seem intelligent nor confident. Making snark comments does not make one appear elevated, on the contrary. 

Now, men are also targeted by men, but mainly online. Good-looking men are called "fat", "lazy" "past their prime" and "aged like milk" by anonymous men. With the expansion of online platforms, both sexes have uncovered new avenues to persist in their bullying behavior. 

The major difference between men and women is that offline targeting of women by women has been normalized over the centuries. 

Women insist on emancipation in their profession and in their private life, but those who go down the road of talking down other women lack the integrity and respect to succeed. Females do not need to be best friends nor competitors. Respecting each other and respecting personal choices without judging looks is the least one could do. 

I, for one, have never understood how and why females feel better after making a vile comment on another woman. Yes, I do feel envy too, but my envy is confined to seeing couples in love. I don't drown in self-pity; I just immediately feel a sting when confronted with something I don't have in my life and miss so dearly: the love of a man, affection, togetherness, being a unit, a family. But that never gave me the urge to trash-talk anyone! Forming judgments on how other women look, how they dress and how they wear their hair does not occupy my brain either. 

I get to think of the cliché that the world would be a better place with women on top. That will never happen. Unless downgrading, trash-talking and making up rumors about other women gets to be de-normalized. 

Why not enjoy and applaud other people for being themselves?